Paula and I met at a women’s event. We became good friends. We talked on the phone about lots of topics, and I visited her home several times to meet her family and wind down after a busy week.
I was married at the time while Paula was divorced. Her profession was selling beauty supplies to salons, and she was good at it. She did, however, realize that sales were starting to slow down and knew she’d have to begin searching for another profession to make money.
I admired her tenacity and foresight to begin looking into new businesses rather than bury her head in the sand and hope that sales would increase.
We were into our second year of friendship when she called me by phone.
“I just had a car accident.”
“Oh no! Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. The car is damaged, and I need your help.”
“What do you need?”
“I’m in your town. I need you to come right away to tell the police that you were driving my car when the accident happened.”
“I can’t have any more points on my driver’s license or it will be suspended.”
“I can’t do that for you, Paula. That lie will get me in trouble, and then I’ll have big problems.”
She never called me again for which I was thankful. That conversation marked the end of our friendship.
Friends don’t ask you to put your livelihood in jeopardy for them. They don’t call you only when they need favors, and they don’t knock on your door to borrow things that are never returned.
Friends are open minded about what each other wants to achieve unless that achievement is harmful to others. That accomplishment may pave the way for great and positive things, which is why your own patience during this phase is commendable.
You and I know that announcing something that’s considered different than the status quo can be rattling. We like our comfort zones. However, friends understand that life changes, and so do aspirations brought on by outside influences.
I believe it was the popular speaker, Les Brown, whom I first heard express in his audio, Live Your Dreams, that friends last for a season. That’s so true. Whether you are friends with a person for a month, a year, or until you expire, friendships end at some point.
Paula and I enjoyed each other’s company for two years. Then, it was over. Once I stopped saying to myself, “I can’t believe she asked me to do that” (you know I was shocked!), I was free to explore new friendships, and I made many.
It’s not that I couldn’t make new friends while Paula and I were buddies. Sometimes you stick mainly with one person versus with others who are casual acquaintances. That’s what I did, and it worked for my lifestyle.
The past relationship was an education into recognizing the meaning of friendship.
Today, I have a handful of friends, good friends, women who truly care about my well being. I feel the same about them, too.
She failed the first test of friendship; loyalty. Some people think it means you’ll do anything for another person. I believe it means that you’ll really do anything for another person, which includes not putting them into a compromising position in the first place. You did well, and your point is a solid one.
You’re so right, Mitch, and I appreciate your candor about this event. Thankfully, I didn’t get wrapped up in this drama.